The Peanut Butter Escapades
by chibiquatre2
Summary: What do Vegeta, Goku, me, and 100 jars of peanut butter have in common? Absolutely nothing until now *insane laughter*
1. 100 jars of peanut butter

The peanut butter escapades  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: DO not own anything that is related to Dbz or otherwise. I don't even own the Sayain/Idiot proof peanut butter jar....  
  
A/N: ever thought about how they make medicine childproof and usually it's the child and not the adult who can get it open??  
  
A dark figure is hunched over a keyboard in the dark cackling with glee at it's plan..  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Chibiquatre was starving. She was hungry enough to eat more than a sayain... Well maybe not that hungry. Then the craving hit her.  
  
PEANUT BUTTER!! I must have peanut butter! Chibiquatre searches first the kitchen cupboards and wails in despair "noooo i need peanut butter"   
  
"ummm...chibi-chan? Whatcha doin' " Chibi looks at her little sister a crazed look in her eye. "I'm looking for Peanut butter what else baka!"  
  
Little sister looks at her "don't you remember?  
  
"Remember what?"  
  
"The puppies ate it."  
  
blank look " Ate what your homework?"  
  
exasperated sigh "no stupid the peanut butter"  
  
"accckkk nooooo, it can't be"  
  
"why don't you just go buy some?"  
  
*evil grin* bwahahahaha " I have a better Idea"  
  
Little sister makes winding motion with her finger at her temple then mumbles "crazy"  
  
Chibiquatre runs to her bedroom and opens the closet door *looks at audience* "now I'm going to use this interdimensional teleporter to take me to Bulma's house and borrow some peanut butter *snickers* then jumps into the closet banging her head against the wall "ouch" *grins sheepishly* "oh yeah it's under my bed" Squeezes beneath bed and a pop and a swoosh is heard as she dissappears.  
  
  
"wow" she states simply as she lands in a very large kitchen. Suddenly a loud boom echoes from outside and chibquatre rubs her fanny at the impact of the floor. "What was that???" She looks outside and gasps then starts to drool as her two favorite fullblooded sayains head for the kitchen with no shirts on (A/N: in other words there shirts were destroyed in the battle....*hentai grin*) "eeep gotta hide, but what about the peanut butter" Quickly she dashes around the kitchen searching cupboards for the peanut butter "YES" she shouts triumphantly as she finds at least 100 jars of peanutbutter. Then she claps her hands over her mouth in terror as she hears a familiar voice.   
  
"Oi.. Vegeta did you hear that?"  
  
Vegeta grumbled something about stupid women then threw the door open only to be shocked to see all the cupboards opened A feeling of horror sunk into his stomach or maybe it was just hunger. He headed straight for the Peanut butter stash and let out a low moan as he saw that all 100 jars were gone. "Noooo , my peanut butter, that woman has gone to far this time." Goku stares at the Irate prince as if he was insane.  
Then he walks over to join Vegeta "Oh Kami, Vegeta who do you think would do such an evil thing"  
  
  
A glowering Vegeta replies " I know of only one onna with such depths of evil in her heart as to steal my secret stash of peanut butter"  
  
Goku gasps "No, it can't be not again"   
  
"Yes it is that evil bleep chibiquatre" Goku scratches his head.  
  
"umm... what does bleep mean" Vegeta facefaults and smacks goku.  
  
"Baka, bleep isn't an actual word it's used to poorly edit bad words that would make this fics rating go up among other things"  
  
"Oh okay" goku smiled.  
  
"Kakarrot... did you actually understand a thing I said." Vegeta asked somewhat stunned.  
  
"Nope" Goku continued to smile. Vegeta fell over twitching slightly.  
  
"Vegeta..."  
  
"What?" said a now recovered Vegeta who was begining his search for the little baka onna that had stolen his peanut butter.  
  
"I'm hungry..." Vegeta said nothing but glared at his sparring companion too pissed to hear a frustrated moan coming from the refridgerator.   
  
"Shutup idiot" then he threw a large ball of ki at Goku missing entirely and hitting the refridgerator door which then vaporized revealing chibiquatre growling and chewing on a jar of peanut butter that just wouldn't open. Suddenly she looked up. "Meeeep" was the only thing she got out before Vegeta flung another ki ball. When the smoke cleared there sat chibiquatre x's in her eyes and her tongue sticking out little wisps of smoke rolling off of her blackened hair and face.  
  
"Ve...Vegeta is it dead?"  
  
"hn.. who knows."  
  
Goku immediatley felt sorry for the little creature plucking her out of the fridge and cradling her to his chest (A/N *hearts in eyes* remember he's not wearing a shirt *dies of sexual overload*) "Vegeta I think we should give her a Senzu Bean"   
  
"NO!!" Vegeta shouted   
  
"why not Veggie-kun" Goku whined giving him puppydog eyes "Pwwease"  
  
Vegeta smirked "Because it doesn't look like she needs one."  
  
Goku held out the chibi a disgusted look on his face as the revived onna drooled all over his bare chest a glazed look in her eyes she struggled briefly in his hands until he dropped her on her hiney "oomph... Hey that hurt"   
  
"Gomen...." Goku didn't get to finish as Chibiquatre glomped onto his face.   
  
"ummph ump um meph" a muffled yell came from goku. Vegeta just laughed like a maniac at the struggling saiya-jin.  
  
Just then chibiquatre remembered the peanut butter before either of the Saiya-jin could stop her she attacked the jar laying on the floor trying to open it again.   
  
Vegeta would have blasted her right then and there except suddenly he couldn't stop laughing.  
  
"Why are you laughing veggie?" Goku said puzzedly. Vegeta growled before he continued to laugh.   
  
"Don't call me that!! Because look at the baka onna... She's so pathetically weak she can't even open a jar of peanut butter"  
  
Chibiquatre got up from rolling on the floor with the jar she glared at Vegeta then threw the jar at Vegeta's head which he deftly caught with his forehead (*snicker*) "Why don't you try opening it"  
  
Vegeta easily twisted the lid .... to no avail it stayed firmly attached to the jar his brow furrowed in annoyance. He twisted again nothing happened. He growled going SSJ and twisted with all his might.  
  
"What the bleepity bleep bleep!" He shouted in frustration.  
  
Chibiquatre blushed a bright red and covered her ears humming some weird song.  
  
Goku ignored them both staring at the strange peanut butter Jar when finally he spoke up.  
  
"The instructions say this is saiyajin and idiot proof."   
  
Chibiquatre pouted "I'm not an idiot. Why can't I get it open then" she suddenly became very excited "Does this mean I'm a saiyajin?" she hopped up and down.  
  
Vegeta smirked "Ha more likely your an idiot onna"  
  
"arrrrrggg Where's a frying pan when you need it" chibiquatre shouted with a gleam in her eyes.  
  
Vegeta backed off a little glaring at the crazy woman.  
  
"hmph that's better" she said then they both looked to goku and watched in amazement as he easily twisted the lid off of the jar. Both of them fell over twitching violently. Recovering quickly chibiquatre jumped upon goku grabbing the peanutbutter jar. She reached in and gasped pulling her hand out she eyed the empty jar. She looked up and sniffed tears coming to her eyes "noooooooooo" she let out a long wail.  
  
Goku looked extremely guilty and sad " I'm sorry if I had known how much you wanted it I would have saved you some"   
  
Chibiquatre glared at him "No you wouldn't have, Pig!!"  
  
Goku sniffed tears now leaking from his eyes "Y..yes I would have...." Chibiquatre feeling terrible started to cry even harder and tried to comfort one of her favorite characters.  
  
"I'm sorry..." they continued sobbing. Meanwhile Vegeta nearly becoming sick over the two's stupid emotional reactions grabbed two of the peanut butter jars left from the 99 from the refridgerator and chunked them at the idiots hitting them both in the head. They fell over sideways with silly grins on their faces and two very large bumps appeared on the top of their heads. Finally after much giggling and sniffling they sat up and grabbed the jars.  
  
Chibiquatre had goku open hers. She sat there silently as goku dived into his jar. Suddenly she smirked and looked at Vegeta. "Know what would go good with this right about now?"  
  
Both Goku and Vegeta looked at her Goku in curiosity and Vegeta in dread. "What?" asked Goku. Vegeta came up behind him and smacked him to no affect. "Baka haven't you heard the saying Curiosity killed the cat!" Goku just blinked in confusion.  
  
"Syrup and cheetos!!!"  
  
"yay" shouted Goku. Vegeta blinked a couple of times then fell over.  
  
  
  
ooooo peanutbutter,syrup, and cheetos. What's in store for our heroes? Find out next time on THE PEANUTBUTTER ESCAPADES!!!!!! 


	2. Peanutbutter, Syrup, and Cheetos

Peanut Butter, Syrup, and Cheetos  
  
  
Yay!! It's disclaimer time *Le Sigh*: I Don't own Db/z/gt....But go ahead and sue me if you like cuz i'm rich, filthy stinkin' rich Bwahahahahaha *pauses* Oh wait that was just one of my dreams *searches pockets* ummm... please don't sue. I'll give you my pocket lint cuz that's all I have...*chibi eyes*  
  
  
Vegeta lay on the floor a frown on his face thinking "why me, why do all the nutcases choose me of all people to harass"  
  
"Maybe cuz your so easily harassed" said a quiet voice near his ear. Vegeta jumped very high and smacked his head into the ceiling.  
  
"oh poor ceiling" said a smiling chibiquatre.  
  
"Damn you Onna, I didn't know you could read minds" he glared.  
  
"huh? I can't you asked the question outloud so I answered."  
  
Vegeta facefaults. "oh"  
  
"Vegeta oh great and mighty prince of the saiyajins"  
  
"yes" Vegeta purred as his already smothering ego was stroked by chibiquatre's words.  
  
"Where's the syrup and cheetos? I didn't see them when I was looking for the peanut butter"  
  
Vegeta immediatley falls from the ceiling landing on his face  
"arrrrggghhh"  
  
"Veggie are you alright" said a very perturbed goku.  
  
Both Vegeta and Chibiquatre sweatdrop at the large word used to describe goku's state of emotion.  
  
"psst...pssst hey Narrator"  
  
"nani? what do you want I'm trying to write a fic here"  
  
"Baka you shouldn't use such big words in front of Kakarott you might warp his fragile little mind"   
  
Narrator pales "Is he alright?"  
  
All three turn to goku who is staring off into space a glazed look in his eyes and drool slipping from his mouth.  
  
"Yup he's fine" all three say at once.  
  
"Okay how about this guys"  
  
"Veggie are you alright" said a very worried Goku  
  
"Hai, much better on with the fic!!"  
  
"hn... You didn't find any syrup or cheetos because Onna hasn't gone shopping yet today..Baka!!"  
  
"Vegeta-kun!! Where are you!!"  
  
Vegeta pales "uh-oh, Damn you just had to make me mention the word shopping now the Onna is gonna make us all go shopping with her"  
  
Goku snaps out of his daze and both he and chibi make a run for the door. Only to run into a smiling Bulma. Chibiquatre gulped noisily. "umm hello Bulma-chan don't mind me I'll just be going I.. uh .. have ..uh baseball practice yeah that's it baseball practice"  
  
Bulma completely ignoring her steers chibiquatre back into the kitchen.  
  
"Veggie-kun you didn't tell me we had guest."  
  
suddenly a loud clanging noise comes from the livingroom.  
  
"What was that?" chibiquatre says nervously as she notices for the first time that goku wasn't there.  
  
"Oh I forgot to tell you Chichi is here"  
  
Chichi comes into the Kitchen dragging a stunned Goku. A very subdued and embarrassed Gohan following.  
  
"Now let's see" bulma said in a far off voice "Their are six of us going shopping so we'll need to take a big vehicle.. Yes that one should do"  
  
"Wait just one minute, what do you mean by six people going shopping?" said a panicky chibiquatre.  
  
"Well let's see there is chichi and I, then there's you four Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, and....umm what's your name again?"  
  
"ummm...it's saiyawoman and I hear the call of the innocent I must go save them ja ne!!"  
  
Chibiquatre runs as fast as she can but goes nowhere. Bulma has a hold of her ...cape?   
  
"Nice try chibiquatre but no cigar" Vegeta says snidely.  
  
"ah chibiquatre what a ..umm interesting name" aside to chichi "Poor child her parents must be very cruel" Chichi nods vigourously.  
  
"Now can I have my dishtowel back or do you insist upon using it as a cape?"  
  
Chibi pouts but hands over the cape now resigned to her horrible fate. 'at least the ride over won't be to bad maybe I'll get to sit by Gohan' Unconciously begins to drool.  
  
*************  
  
Later in the vehicle  
  
Chibiquatre slid down in her seat cringing at the evil look chichi was giving her. She gently probed the goose egg bump on her head. 'gees you'd think she thought I grabbed gohan's butt on purpose... I mean it was an accident... sorta ...kinda ...maybe   
  
"Alright everyone seatbelts please"  
  
Soon the van was humming along nicely and there was an uncomfortable silence.  
  
"umm okay how about some music" came Bulma's cheerful voice.  
  
She popped in a tape....  
  
  
Ohhhh fun a short trip to the market what havoc will our heroes supply for our amusement find out next time on The Peanut butter Escapades!!!!  
  
*grin* Arigato TrunkyGirly I'm glad you thought the first chapter was cute I hope you like this chapter too  
  
Sailor Taichichi Vegeta: *smirk* I know it was crazy but I had to get the Craziness out of my system somehow, ne?  
  
Kitar: *glomps* yay!!! I like peanut butter and apples too and I like peanutbutter,toast, and bananas, and I could go on and on about peanut butter but I think I'll stop there   
  
  
Bye the way Gomen nasai I really didn't mean to take this long to update and once again arigato to all of you three who reviewed. 


End file.
